Transcribed with Whisper (large-v3-turbo). Click any line to jump the audio there; the current line highlights as it plays. Garbled-audio best guesses are in orange italics. The repeated 好 at the end of the raw transcript was a Whisper hallucination on the outro music and has been collapsed.
| 1 | 我都说了不嫁 | wǒ dōu shuō le bù jià | I already told you, I'm not marrying! (transcribed as 不佳) |
| 2 | 你是单身吗 | nǐ shì dānshēn ma | Are you single? |
| 3 | 怎么了 | zěnme le | Why, what's up? |
| 4 | 给你一万呢 | gěi nǐ yí wàn ne | What if I give you 10,000 yuan? |
| 5 | 啥意思啊 | shá yìsi a | What do you mean? |
| 6 | 你是单身的话 | nǐ shì dānshēn dehuà | If you're single, |
| 7 | 我给你介绍一个帅哥 | wǒ gěi nǐ jièshào yí gè shuàigē | I'll set you up with a handsome guy. |
| 8 | 你确定帅吗 | nǐ quèdìng shuài ma | Are you sure he's handsome? |
| 9 | 确定帅 | quèdìng shuài | Definitely handsome. |
| 10 | 但是你要和他拍一组婚纱照 | dànshì nǐ yào hé tā pāi yì zǔ hūnshāzhào | But you have to shoot a set of wedding photos with him. |
| 11 | 你确定帅吗 | nǐ quèdìng shuài ma | Are you SURE he's handsome? |
| 12 | 你是单身吗 | nǐ shì dānshēn ma | (to the guy) Are you single? |
| 13 | 是啊 怎么了 | shì a, zěnme le | Yeah, why? |
| 14 | 你要是单身 | nǐ yàoshi dānshēn | If you're single, |
| 15 | 我给你介绍一个女朋友怎么样 | wǒ gěi nǐ jièshào yí gè nǚpéngyou zěnmeyàng | how about I set you up with a girlfriend? |
| 16 | 你啊 | nǐ a | You? |
| 17 | 当然不是我了 | dāngrán bú shì wǒ le | Of course not me! |
| 18–19 | 你别管我怎么介绍 | nǐ bié guǎn wǒ zěnme jièshào | Never mind how I set it up — |
| 20 | 给你一万 | gěi nǐ yí wàn | I'll give you 10,000. |
| 21 | 一会儿你要和女生拍一组婚纱照 | yíhuìr nǐ yào hé nǚshēng pāi yì zǔ hūnshāzhào | In a bit you'll shoot wedding photos with a girl. |
| 22 | 两万 | liǎng wàn | 20,000. (counter-offer) |
| 23 | 干 | gàn | Deal! |
| 24 | 先做一个简单的自我介绍 | xiān zuò yí gè jiǎndān de zìwǒ jièshào | First, a quick self-introduction. |
| 25 | 我叫李泽源 | wǒ jiào Lǐ Zéyuán | My name is Li Zeyuan. |
| 26 | 我叫小杨 | wǒ jiào Xiǎo Yáng | I'm Xiao Yang. |
| 27 | 双子座 | shuāngzǐzuò | Gemini. |
| 28 | 摩羯座 | mójiézuò | Capricorn. |
| 29 | 你们上一段分手是什么时候 | nǐmen shàng yí duàn fēnshǒu shì shénme shíhou | When was your last breakup? (transcribed as 上学的分手) |
| 30 | 三年前吧 | sān nián qián ba | About three years ago. |
| 31 | 为什么分手呢 | wèishénme fēnshǒu ne | Why did you break up? |
| 32 | 感情问题 | gǎnqíng wèntí | Relationship issues. |
| 33 | 什么感情问题 | shénme gǎnqíng wèntí | What kind of issues? |
| 34 | 鸡毛蒜皮的小事 | jīmáo suànpí de xiǎoshì | Trivial little things. |
| 35 | 什么鸡毛蒜皮 | shénme jīmáo suànpí | Like what? |
| 36–37 | 比如说我买错了，她都会说（我） | bǐrú shuō wǒ mǎi cuò le, tā dōu huì shuō (wǒ) | Like, if I bought the wrong thing, she'd get on my case. |
| 38 | 你们同居多久了 | nǐmen tóngjū duō jiǔ le | How long did you live together? (possibly 单身多久 — how long single) |
| 39 | 差不多三个月吧 | chàbuduō sān gè yuè ba | About three months. |
| 40 | 哇塞 | wāsài | Whoa! |
| 41 | 女生呢 | nǚshēng ne | And you? (to the girl) |
| 42 | 一年前吧 | yì nián qián ba | About a year ago. |
| 43 | 又为什么分手 | yòu wèishénme fēnshǒu | And why did you break up? |
| 44 | 异地恋 | yìdìliàn | Long-distance relationship. (transcribed as 一滴电) |
| 45 | 出轨了吗 | chūguǐ le ma | Did someone cheat? |
| 46–47 | 是… 不是 | shì… bú shì | Yes… no. |
| 48 | 被分手了 | bèi fēnshǒu le | I got dumped. |
| 49 | 不知道为啥 | bù zhīdào wèi shá | Don't know why. |
| 50 | 好可惜啊 | hǎo kěxī a | What a shame. |
| 51–52 | 出轨… 出轨很高兴是吧 | chūguǐ… chūguǐ hěn gāoxìng shì ba | Cheating… cheating makes you laugh, huh? (teasing) |
| 53 | 男生喜欢干什么 | nánshēng xǐhuan gàn shénme | What does the guy like to do? |
| 54–55 | 就健健身吧，其他的没有了 | jiù jiàn jiànshēn ba, qítā de méiyǒu le | Just working out, nothing else really. |
| 56 | 方便看一下健身成果吗 | fāngbiàn kàn yíxià jiànshēn chéngguǒ ma | Mind showing us the gym results? |
| 57 | 第一次见不太合适吧 | dì yī cì jiàn bú tài héshì ba | We just met — that's not really appropriate, is it? |
| 58 | 有什么不合适的 | yǒu shénme bù héshì de | What's inappropriate about it? |
| 59 | 男孩子还是要保护好自己 | nánháizi háishi yào bǎohù hǎo zìjǐ | A boy's still got to protect himself. (joking) |
| 60–62 | 你多高？ 170。 170？ | nǐ duō gāo? yāo qī líng. yāo qī líng? | How tall are you? — 170 cm. — 170? |
| 63–64 | 比我前女友高 | bǐ wǒ qián nǚyǒu gāo | Taller than my ex-girlfriend. (garbled audio) |
| 65 | 这是我的荣幸吗 | zhè shì wǒ de róngxìng ma | Is that supposed to be an honor for me? (transcribed as 荣心) |
| 66 | 你之前谈过几个对象 | nǐ zhīqián tán guo jǐ gè duìxiàng | How many people have you dated? |
| 67 | 我只谈了一个 | wǒ zhǐ tán le yí gè | Only one. |
| 68 | 全网无前任是吧 | quán wǎng wú qiánrèn shì ba | "Nobody on the internet has an ex," right? (sarcastic) |
| 69 | 是的 | shì de | Yep. |
| 70–71 | 有也不承认。 对 | yǒu yě bù chéngrèn. duì | Even if I had one, I wouldn't admit it. — Right. |
| 72 | 我的初吻在每天凌晨12点准时更新 | wǒ de chūwěn zài měitiān língchén shí'èr diǎn zhǔnshí gēngxīn | My first kiss resets fresh every night at midnight. (joke) |
| 73–74 | 骗子！渣男！ | piànzi! zhānán! | Liar! Player! |
| 75 | 那你呢 | nà nǐ ne | What about you? |
| 76 | 两三个吧 | liǎng sān gè ba | Two or three, I guess. |
| 77 | 那好多啊 | nà hǎo duō a | That's a lot! |
| 78–79 | 好了，为了一会能更好地拍照，我们先对视10秒 | hǎo le, wèile yíhuì néng gèng hǎo de pāizhào, wǒmen xiān duìshì shí miǎo | OK — so the photos come out better, let's start with 10 seconds of eye contact. |
| 80 | 对视啊 | duìshì a | Eye contact?! |
| 81 | 你看哪儿 | nǐ kàn nǎr | Where are you looking? |
| 82–83 | （笑场）挺逗的 | (xiàochǎng) tǐng dòu de | (cracking up) This is pretty funny. (garbled audio) |
| 84 | 马上就要开始拍了 | mǎshàng jiù yào kāishǐ pāi le | The shoot is about to start. |
| 85 | 现在是什么心情 | xiànzài shì shénme xīnqíng | How are you feeling right now? (transcribed as 比星星) |
| 86–87 | 一般般吧。 紧张 | yìbānbān ba. jǐnzhāng | So-so. — Nervous. |
| 88–91 | 如果一会有什么肢体接触，就接一把 | rúguǒ yíhuì yǒu shénme zhītǐ jiēchù, jiù jiē yì bǎ | If there's any physical contact during the shoot, just go along with it. (garbled audio) |
| 92 | 那我太兴奋了 | nà wǒ tài xīngfèn le | Then I'm way too excited! (joking) |
| 93 | 家人们 | jiārénmen | "Fam!" (addressing the camera/audience) |
| 94–96 | 来，开心点帅哥。帅哥别偷看她，一会再偷看 | lái, kāixīn diǎn shuàigē. shuàigē bié tōukàn tā, yíhuì zài tōukàn | Come on, smile, handsome. Hey handsome, don't sneak looks at her — peek later! |
| 97–100 | 1、2，来走，开心走，对 | yī, èr, lái zǒu, kāixīn zǒu, duì | One, two — now walk, walk happily — that's it. |
| 101–106 | 你笑露几颗牙？ 6个。 你呢？ 8个。 好样的，比我多 | nǐ xiào lòu jǐ kē yá? liù gè. nǐ ne? bā gè. hǎoyàngde, bǐ wǒ duō | How many teeth show when you smile? — Six. — And you? — Eight. — Nice, more than me! (garbled audio) |
| 107–111 | OK，公主抱！公主抱转两圈 | OK, gōngzhǔbào! gōngzhǔbào zhuǎn liǎng quān | OK — princess carry! Princess carry, spin twice! |
| 112–115 | 往前来一点，一跳，一跳 | wǎng qián lái yìdiǎn, yí tiào, yí tiào | Come forward a bit — and jump, jump! |
| 116–121 | 喜欢吗？ 对对对对… 好高兴。 我问你喜欢吗？ 喜欢 | xǐhuan ma? duì duì duì… hǎo gāoxìng. wǒ wèn nǐ xǐhuan ma? xǐhuan | Do you like it? — Yes yes yes… so happy. — I asked, do you LIKE it? — I like it. |
| 122 | 我看见你鼻屎了好像 | wǒ kànjiàn nǐ bíshǐ le hǎoxiàng | I think I just saw your booger. (teasing) |
| 123–125 | 哇塞，好看啊！绝了绝了 | wāsài, hǎokàn a! jué le jué le | Wow, these look great! Stunning! |
| 126 | 好像拍一半了 | hǎoxiàng pāi yíbàn le | Looks like we're halfway through the shoot. |
| 127–131 | 你觉得怎么样？ 觉得今天过得很开心，特别愉悦。 还可以 | nǐ juéde zěnmeyàng? juéde jīntiān guò de hěn kāixīn, tèbié yúyuè. hái kěyǐ | How do you feel? — Today's been really fun, really enjoyable. — Pretty good. |
| 132–133 | 那你觉得他这个人怎么样？ 还行吧 | nà nǐ juéde tā zhège rén zěnmeyàng? háixíng ba | What do you think of him as a person? — He's alright. |
| 134–136 | 感觉一下子就特别亲近的感觉，有一点点小暧昧 | gǎnjué yíxiàzi jiù tèbié qīnjìn de gǎnjué, yǒu yìdiǎndiǎn xiǎo àimèi | It instantly felt really close — even a tiny bit flirty. (亲近 transcribed as 清净) |
| 137–138 | 他是你喜欢的类型吗？ 一半一半 | tā shì nǐ xǐhuan de lèixíng ma? yíbàn yíbàn | Is he your type? — Half and half. |
| 139–142 | 你刚刚不是说他很吵吗？ 其实… 吵的话… 感觉吵一点好吧 | nǐ gānggāng bú shì shuō tā hěn chǎo ma? qíshí… chǎo dehuà… gǎnjué chǎo yìdiǎn hǎo ba | Didn't you just say he's loud? — Actually… I guess a bit loud is kind of nice. |
| 143–146 | 那愿不愿意相处试试看？ 毕竟才一天嘛，再考虑考虑 | nà yuàn bú yuànyì xiāngchǔ shìshi kàn? bìjìng cái yì tiān ma, zài kǎolǜ kǎolǜ | So, willing to try dating? — It's only been a day — let me think about it. |
| 147–150 | 帅哥你往后一点。对，这边来。1、2、3… 1、2、3，下！ | shuàigē nǐ wǎng hòu yìdiǎn. duì, zhèbiān lái. yī èr sān… yī èr sān, xià! | Handsome, move back a bit. Right, over here. One, two, three… one two three — dip! |
| 151–159 | （听不清）… 真的？真的。好吧。准备，1、2、3，开始，笑！ | (tīng bu qīng)… zhēn de? zhēn de. hǎo ba. zhǔnbèi, yī èr sān, kāishǐ, xiào! | (garbled)… Really? Really. OK. Ready — one, two, three, go, smile! |
| 160–162 | 真的拍完了，感觉怎么样？ 反正挺开心的嘛，挺好的 | zhēn de pāi wán le, gǎnjué zěnmeyàng? fǎnzhèng tǐng kāixīn de ma, tǐng hǎo de | Now that it's really over — how do you feel? — Pretty happy honestly, it was great. |
| 163–166 | 男生怎么样？ 可以，人挺好的。他还愿意给我…（听不清） | nánshēng zěnmeyàng? kěyǐ, rén tǐng hǎo de. tā hái yuànyì gěi wǒ… (tīng bu qīng) | And the guy? — He's good, a really nice person. He was even willing to… (garbled — transcribed as "发smoking") |
| 167–171 | 肢体接触方面，比如他搂着你、脸凑过来，你是怎么想的？ | zhītǐ jiēchù fāngmiàn, bǐrú tā lǒu zhe nǐ, liǎn còu guòlái, nǐ shì zěnme xiǎng de? | About the physical contact — like when he had his arm around you, leaned his face in — what were you thinking? |
| 172–175 | 呃… 没法说 | è… méi fǎ shuō | Uh… hard to put into words. |
| 176–182 | 肢体接触的话，其实像我这种平常比较高冷的人，突然有一个陌生人来这么一下子，还挺脸红的 | zhītǐ jiēchù dehuà, qíshí xiàng wǒ zhè zhǒng píngcháng bǐjiào gāolěng de rén, tūrán yǒu yí gè mòshēngrén lái zhème yíxiàzi, hái tǐng liǎnhóng de | As for the contact — for someone like me who's usually pretty reserved, having a stranger suddenly do that… it actually made me blush. |
| 183 | 那你愿不愿意和他相处试试看 | nà nǐ yuàn bú yuànyì hé tā xiāngchǔ shìshi kàn | So — are you willing to give it a try with him? |
| 185 | 其实打心底还挺愿意的 | qíshí dǎ xīndǐ hái tǐng yuànyì de | Honestly, deep down… I'm quite willing. 💘 |
| 186+ | 好 好 好 … | hǎo hǎo hǎo … | (Whisper hallucination over the outro music — not real dialogue) |